A Facebook Love Story, Dating Standards & '90s Nostalgia | Episode 1077

I can't do that noise. The hell. Babe I almost I whistled. Yeah. Did you hear it? I can't whistle. That's like. My just kind of did it. No I can't. I did a little bit of fun. There was a. That just a little whistle. You got to whet your whistle and then you got to concentrate on your whistle.

Anyways yeah I think I'm pulling off the G unit t shirt. Which one. Is that. What does it say on it. It's actually just a work one from the Smithsonian. Okay. Yeah. We're good then. Yeah. It has, like, a really cool graphic, NASA rocket thing on the back.

Looks really cool. Okay. What is that, babe on the back? It's a rocket ship. It's a NASA rocket. It's some kind of something. Astronautical and aeronautical. Astronautical? Yeah, something that never went up to the moon, but did. What is this music? Could have gone. To the moon.

This is Robert Earl keen junior, but he don't go by junior. What's he go by? He's just Rob Roy Keane, but he's junior. When I started listening to him. Okay. Long ago. Long ago. Is this, like, pull up on my lap? POW, pow. Like you're just like. Oh, man.

Mason pepper. Mason Bush. Why did he just seem so, grandpa? The way you were, like story time. I got it like that. Bring the children's over here. And I got to tell him a story. There was a time. That's right. Keep going. That's what you want to hear the story.

Bring up the children and tell them a story. Come over here. Children's story. What story would you tell? Well, there's so many. Well, I'd have to say. What are you. Children's want to hear? What kind of story do you children's want to hear? If I was Grandpa Pappy Mason, I'd say what kind of children's stories y'all wants to hear. Because all of my stories.

I got to tone them down. You know what I'm saying? For the children's. I can't tell you all the things. That you. It's just gonna play an episode of the podcast. For his grandchildren. Like. Yeah, that's great, dude. That's great. I'm kidding. 15, 20 years from now. I'm kidding.

He's going to say, hey, come on, put up over here. We're going to listen to 177. 169. We don't listen to all the 6970. What? This number here. 69. See, we're going to make a big deal out of it. Yes. Right. I want to make like a montage of like funny like scenes between everybody from the podcast over the years.

Like I would like to see like a time lapse montage. It would be, it would be. Very fun with like some great song playing. I think that'd be cool. I don't know. It's tough task. These are hard tasks. I know, like, I'm trying to figure out a way to get one of the A's to help me make all the old things into videos for.

The YouTube. So that I don't have to sit there in front of the computer and do it all. But I'm not sure if I can figure out a good way to get that done or not. I just I wish there was a way to get it done where it didn't look like AI. The AI stuff's really obvious. You could like.

It's like super obvious. You could. Sort of show in your ass. You could sort of get it to do different stuff. But like, when I see stuff now, I'm like, there goes that's chat right there. I see chat right there. If it's got a little crown, like if they were, they wanted hip hop style.

They always put a little crown on something like all of the Jew Unit album covers have crowns on them. That makes sense to me. Yeah. Because that's the universal symbol for hip hop, I guess. Well, like when you were doing graffiti back in the day, you write your name, put a little crown on it. Yeah.

Like John, Don Michael, John Basquiat. Sorry. Basquiat started that shit. With the. Crown part of it. But that was his. Crown was. A hip. Hop thing in. The city. But that was the thing in the city. You were right. Yeah. He was. I would I would like to say he was on the forefront, but maybe not.

Maybe. Artistically speaking, as far as like mainstream worldwide artist concerned, Basquiat definitely is like a a major figure. They did a lot of like, amazing shit. But like The Crown specifically that's been in graffiti, I'm pretty sure from the jump where everybody was doing it because everybody wanted to be the king of the. Streets, I know.

So I knew I needed several dudes in high school that like it, right? Their first initial and put a crown over it to sign stuff. Yeah, I'm pretty sure I have, like a high school box of memories. I don't, I like, like like yeah, I do. I have a high school box of memories.

Do you have a high school box memories? They gave us some booklet that we put pictures in and had people write stuff in and. Bucks. But like, this wasn't a yearbook. Oh, this is like a senior memento. Yeah, it was a senior memento scrapbook thing that everybody carried around because they.

The school I went to for my senior year, they didn't give us our yearbooks at the end of the year. They said, well, the next year. And I'm like, you guys fucking suck. Wow. That's lame as. It was. And I complained about it when I first got there. They were like, well, we don't know any school that does that.

And I was like, well, every school I've ever gone to was giving it to us. Yeah, yeah. But you get it with like a week or two left. Senior, you gotta track these motherfuckers now. No, you had to have them sign your little fucking senior memento book that they made you fucking by at the beginning of the year.

My God. Speaking of which, I probably should buy my kids your books. Well, I. Guess it's like $75. That's expensive. And it doesn't seem as expensive as I was expecting it to, but that's. Yeah, 75. I think we probably paid like, what, 25 back in the day?

I don't know, I felt like it was 25. I definitely don't remember. I don't know, but I don't know. I'm just thinking about that. So you guys don't have like a little box of mementos that you've kept in your lives? I would get some random box, I think, with some stuff in it somewhere.

Yeah. Now the Jews moved around too many times. No, I moved them. I moved as mementos, I packed them. Yeah, but he trashed. He trashed mementos. He trashed mementos before you ever showed up that you would not have approved of getting. From the kids.

That's about momentum. Mementos. Shit I got. If it wasn't stuck on the refrigerator. He ain't got it. I'm a fish, I guess. From the fish on. The wall here. Yeah, yeah. There you go. Fish on the wall. You been awful quiet lately, man. Not doing anything I don't. You got.

You got em. Oh, memento. Memento. Shit. You got anything? You got anything you been thinking about a lot lately? Anything in the world you've been witnessing? I ain't got nothing written down. No joke, no nothing. I got you. I hear. You saying about the t shirts thing because you know how, like, girls steal hoodies and shit? Of course. Yeah, all. The time.

There was a great Levi's commercial back in the day where there was this dude, like, in his garage, and he's got this pair of Levi's, and he's, like, taking a sander to one. He gets like a motorcycle and puts it up in the air and like, puts a mark on the thigh.

Does all this stuff. Right. And then like, he's like leaving, getting on a bus. And he hands these genes that he's been working on to this girl and she just like melts. And I'm like, God, I love you. And he hugs her. And then he gets on the bus and he takes his pants off.

And he's got the genes that look just like it on because he made a copy of his or her favorite jeans of his. Well. That was a Levi's commercial. And when was that? Like, what era would. Probably 96. 96? I feel like it was on when I used to watch Melrose.

Matching pair of drawers. No. Like I remember this commercial. I just thought it was Calvin Klein. I liked it because. It was like a Calvin Klein commercial. Gotcha, bitch. You know, that's what I liked. About you. Remember this? It might have been a counterclaim, but I think it was a Levi's.

Levi. No, I remember the Levi's one. Calvin Klein was, like, all in black and white and shit. Oh, they were good. Come on. That was a good time. It was a good era of television. Melrose Place, bro. 90s was grand. It was a grand time to be alive. Yeah. These people, these. Guys.

They got no idea. These people just don't know. It was the perfect blend of, like, modern tech with, like, classic analog and, like, not a bunch of. Bullshit majors. Yeah. We had pagers and we had, I pods. Early 2000. We definitely got into iPods. They weren't before then, but they were great when they came, all the pocket.

Walkie talkie, Nextel, Johnson, whatever. He had him walkie talkie, phone type things were pretty cool. I never had one, but I always thought it was cool. I always thought so too, but I never quite understood how it really worked. I guess it was kind of like an instant voice text message kind of thing.

I never had on either. I don't know. It didn't work. It didn't work out. Like I guess it worked like functionality wise, but it didn't take off. Like I remember thinking like, oh, we're all going to be able to do that. And not just people with Nextel phones.

And then it was kind of like, you know. Like the BlackBerry. Blackberries were dope. Bradberry jumped out and fucking everybody got on BlackBerry. And and my man just revolutionized something. Today himself. Did you unit has created a revolution. His and. Her. TV, as.

I know I've been saying like you've got you have got the fucking ticket right there, jet. I wish you could sue, man. I wish. You could zoom in because it's. It's like. Love Is Blind is playing on. The, like, high up TV with the sound on. And then the game is like town below.

Well done sir. It's so. Good because Mike didn't get it, but I was like, that's brilliant. That's absolutely brilliant. Mike goes, where'd you put the TV? I put it in the bedroom. You ain't got one in your bedroom already? Nah, man, you got that up there.

So Lisa get watch whatever she wants to watch while he plays the games. Watch whatever he want to watch. It's brilliant. Like that's like I'm telling you that's couples therapy. Yeah I mean I could watch football mute because I don't need your hair Tony Romo you got to say. Yeah I mean.

My name is a good man. He's a good man I. Well done. You've earned the title good man for sure. You've done well done well sir. I don't get those. Nobody ever says that about me. Nobody ever says, good man. You are a good man. Me. Nobody tells me that shit.

Not why. I'm that a little prompt? Yeah. No, no, I know I'm a good man. That's why I'm single. Can't find a good woman. Actually, I don't even. Look. I don't give a fuck. I'm not good looking. That is not correct, sir. That is not correct. That's not why you're single.

What? The fact that I'm not looking. No. You're pretty. Good, man. Like you're a good man. So you're not looking? No, I'm a good man. But I'm not looking. But I'm a good man. That's why I'm not still in relationships. Are are. No. You were a good man.

You were just in the wrong relationships. Like you can move forward. You know what I'm saying? You just never know until you try. I could, I just don't like the scene. I don't like to try the whole process. You got it right. Left. And, like, say things to people.

You gotta pull, friend. How do you expand your dating pool? And everyone wants to date online? Maybe. Data bitch. Over 150 pounds. Over 150 pounds. Where am I gonna find one of those? The majority. The majority of women are over 150 pounds. 150 pounds isn't the isn't the issue, it's how she's wearing it.

How tall is she? How short is she? How plump is she? That's your friend. You got a point. What's my what what what what should I need? A bitch is fatter than me. You put them at 100. 150 fat. As you can get them 150 pounds. Four foot. I don't think I could check. That's a bit. That's fruit.

He just said he. Wouldn't date a girls. That as. Him, I wouldn't know. That's what he just said. That's right. Well that's rude. Well I mean it's a double standard. That's fine. It's a preference. I'll take it. That's fine. He is. All the way back here behind the back leg. I drop the ladder.

It's all the way back at the right leg. Yeah my man. But yeah, I mean look. He gets out of fucking 154ft tall chick. Come over there. That's the fucking problem. That's. Oh, that's blueberry on Willy Wonka type shit. Yeah. Like 154 footer is good, you know, Like violent.

Girth on it. You know what I mean? It's difficult throwing that little thing. Around, saying it's too much to deal with. She won't have to definitely, like, jump. I don't want to have to plow through, like undercarriage stuff to get to the Vijay. You know what I'm saying, right?

He won't fit for. Free and ain't even necessarily FuPa free. Not fit for free. There's like a there's a threshold, right? Come on back. It's fine. What's the matter with you? Preference. What's the matter with you? I'm not allowed to have a preference.

At least. It's like. Tip it up, please. Just like you take people you're not attracted to, people you're not attracted to that way. That way you can find a woman picture. What are you saying? Steve, I was just kidding. So I love you so much. Thank you.

Can I get the. He brought me back. He said, come on back. Come on back. That's what he really wanted. Come on back. Come on back to life, man. That's fine. Come on. I'm not being mean. I'm saying I got a standard. Zoo bed on my face at that moment. Because I know my eyes got frozen and I was just like.

What? Because I don't want to date a girl that I got to, like, spread the shoes. This invention and all that process. Oh, it was too much. I was too visual and much the way I did. Like, the forearm pushed aside like I'm trying to get there. I didn't like it.

I was like. Four foot eight, 150 pounds. That's how I got to get in there. I like to eat pussy. Pardon me. I won't be able to breathe while I'm doing it. Like, excuse me for having that little stand. I'll be able to catch a breath of air while I'm down.

I want to be like, get the flexible straw. Put one up, put that in one nostril. Have it coming out like a snorkel. You got to get it on like the end of a rubber seal. And stick it in your nose. That actually seals in there. And then have that fucker hanging out while you're down there.

Torpedo like tell the tell the yeah telescoping periscope and and then thighs two. Yeah I'm going to bring on the submarine sound now. What's the matter Lisa? What did I do. What did I do? I was too visual with my description. No, my brain went somewhere so dirty.

Oh. Tell us. No. Sorry. You guys said straw and like. No, you said like like suction, like breathing through a tube. And I thought tube. And then I thought, like, what would happen if a man took a straw to my clit and, like, sucked. Like it would be the same effect as the rose.

Like it would be the same effect. Make it something smoother. Like get a metal straw with like a nice curvature, a nice new smooth end, not a plastic one because that's just gonna hurt. You got to get one with a little bit of curvature at the end if you're going to do that, but you could go or some shit like that.

Yeah, yeah. That's what the. Air in and out. Air in and out. Air in and out. Yeah. You could, like. Put your tongue on the end of it and do this. I would be down there battling around you. You pop it off that motherfucker bow. That would actually work.

That would work, you guys. It would probably. Yeah. I'm just saying. Where there's a will, there's a way. I mean, that's where my brain went. You guys asked where my brain went. You said, where did you go? Lisa. Thank you. Lisa. Yeah. I appreciate you sharing your naughty, naughty future plans.

Your deep. Force. Your weird, freaky vibe. No, that's not bad. I immediately locked in and was like, you could do it like this. With that, I even had a technique for it. Totally made sense to me. Pardon me. I think I might be blessing. You know, when you get the straw on the tip of the. Tongue.

Like that? Yeah. I cannot, I cannot. I'm never gonna look at a straw the same. I'm never gonna look at this. That's why you're going to get the metal one. You know, the. Metal one's plastic. There you go. Problem solved. My son went through a phase where he wanted to drink out of metal straws.

He said, save the turtles. I like. I saw somebody, they said, just don't drink out with straws. Take away straws, make all cups, have the little sipper top, and then we don't have any straws anymore. I just want to have sippy cups. I don't want to have.

Everybody gets the sippy cup. No. You begotten good at sippy cups at a very young age. I know I like straws. I like. It, you know, paper sauce, right? That's their fat. I was just making sure you're paying attention, babe. He's paid more attention to me.

I'm not even sure what you said. We're gonna leave it at that. I said I like sucking it. Oh, hey. Now., Straws. Straws. Oh, I can't. Help it. That look good. Smells good. Yes, that's right. I can't help it. Yeah. That's right. What the. Lisa getting a full taste of the fucking sound effects.

This episode. I briefly. And they've been on point all. All episode. They've been on point. I try. I know, I try. I got the submarine sound going right now. God damn it. The water is dripping like this is, you know, we're definitely, like, submarine.

Style vibing. Damn right we're in the vibe. I want to get the green screen up one of these days. It'd be better than. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That way we can plug in, like, actual water. I've always thought about having the juice just sitting on the side of the pond.

Wherever we zoom in on the Jew, he's like sitting by a pond in the green screen. I think that'd be cool. I can dig it. Everybody get their own little vibe. Where would you be? I don't know, I'm not sure. I want to be behind, like, I don't, I don't know, I want to be, like, at the, like, white House press conference, like.

Well, when I get elected president. Did you see that Dana White to be his fucking press secretary? Did he really? Yes. How about that crazy broad he had in there for like three days? Five days? Five lasted five. Fucking ridiculous. Did you see her in her hotness?

She was hot. She. It's almost like you said. I'm gonna make the hottest. I'm gonna make the hottest seconds that no one will ever be able to have. Find a hotter press secretary. You know what I'm saying? I say you, babe. She's fine for sure. Oh. Zakaria.

Yeah. That you barely called him like I don't know, she, she call him her husband. She had like one press conference and she referred to him as her husband. At one point. She called her husband I since. I think. So she's a dumb bitch. She literally she's a dumb bitch.

She is a dumb bitch. Bitch. She had the worst first ever press conference. Like this girl knew. You got to help him because he's going to be my press secretary when I'm the president. The Jew is my press secretary. But that's because the Jew. No, it's because the Jew will not know enough to give anything away.

So he'll be. Exactly. He's going to be the best one. He's going to be the best one ever. They're going to be like, it doesn't matter. We can't beat Trump's hottest ever. But the. Jewish thing on saying exactly. It's going to be on that thing. And you know, and then that thing happened and then going to be all right.

But did you see what happened over there? Right. Right. That's how he's going to handle a press conference. Do you want me to do big Mike? No. Let's not. We don't even know that you do. Terrible big Mike. You want to do a big Mike impression? You do a terrible. I did. It.

I did it for, like, six hours. What were you drinking? And you were just doing a big Mike impression. Oh, yeah. Yeah. See, I can't even get it out because I'm laughing. You don't get much better than that. I got worry about it. Does make impressions rough when you can't get through them because you laugh at them.

I can relate to that. It's hard to do some impressions. Oh, dude. He was like relentlessly mean about it. Though. Every time I would do it, he'd be like, fuck, you know? It was. He was like that the worst, the worst big Mike person ever. Impression, impression ever.

I'm like. Well. Big Mike's and amusing character. So. I mean, I thought I had him, I thought I was. So can you, can you, can you get it out without laughing? Yeah. No. And you can't be good enough. He's made me undermine my confidence. He's undermined. Your confidence. Yeah.

Like now I'm like. Damn. It, you. You gotta let her, like, think it's good. So she come on the show and do it. And we can laugh about it here. Yeah. Do it better. Go ahead. It's pretty good. Yeah, it's pretty good, Lisa. It's good. Yeah. Two, two. Boo!

It's good. You can. Do this. Guys. That was that was like, as deep as I could go. Yeah. I. I was kidding with that last. Come on. It's funny. It's great. Absolutely wonderful. I know it's bad. No, it's a great impression. Like. No, we all have to be quiet.

But of. Course, we all have to be quiet so we can hear you. Because the only way for you to get low enough is. To whisper. When was the last time you already some dumb shit? You made yourself, like, cry in tears. Laughing. Yeah. Excellent, man. I don't know when the last time I made myself a cry with actors.

I'm. I'm funny. I get there sometimes, but I can't recall. But there goes. That's a good Jew impersonation. That was a good. It's like this. I know, I know my man's mannerisms. Yeah. Yeah. No we did. This is long before prior to you though. He's been at this as far as like sign and shaking his head like you say something outlandish and he'll say something outlandish in five minutes later I'll say something outlandish and he'll go.

Well, it's. Going to believe the original episode. You said it's because you got Jesus in your life. That big says. I don't get it. If someone can extrapolate. A long time ago it was funny times, funny stuff. When did he have Jesus in his life? I always got Jesus in my life.

Yeah, he's always had Jesus in his life. He got him right now. He's how he's the Jesus and he's the Jew. He's the. He's the Jesus. He's I don't know I don't know if he's claiming to be a deity. He's just 1% Jew. And Jesus was a Jew. Jesus was a Jew. So I said, Jesus, Jew.

Yeah. Jesus, Jew. If he grew a little bit of a beard, he could play a little bit of hair. Yeah, play Jesus. If he brought back the hair, like, even grander than it is right now is rocking with a good set of hair, but like the mullet, you know. But I mean, Lisa came in under mullet, so, like, I don't know if we're ever going back to mullet.

Lisa, would you have a problem with the Jew returning to. Come in tomorrow? I cut the mullet before. You had it yesterday. He shaved his head right before our first date. The mullet was. Two days before, I think. Right? Oh my God. Yeah. Because we had been telling him for a long time that he could do it because.

He wasn't going to. I was thinking. He always had short hair. Why is that? And even when he grew that shit out, I was still like, I'm not going to judge. There is nothing to do with other than like, you know. Because because this man, this man, sexy AF, like sexy no matter what.

Sexy with shaved head chef. Sexy with bald head. Sexy with fucking. Never been bald head. Yeah, well, I could, I could see it. I picture things, but sexy. Sexy with long hair, Swazi hair. Swazi hair. Right here. Sexy with, the fucking chops. I can't help it.

Look good. Smells good. Can't dance all night long. My mother. Mother was. The mother was something. That was something. While. It was something that was something. Because, like, I feel like he had the mullet going, like, well, before you came along.

Yeah. And like, he would, he would sort of have it for a bit and then go away, and then it would. Come back and we faced on. Yeah, I definitely had it in a face. Time in the face, time. In the face. I saw them all. I was going to give it a go. So tell. Me about this.

Tell me about these face times. You FaceTime. Some old ham for a while. When you first meet somebody. You only FaceTimed like 2 or 3 times. What's the good? Because like. Before that. Yeah. That's the way that everybody wanted to do that thing is the.

Only talk. Well, more now because we're talking for a minute. We only talked, occasionally online on Facebook Messenger because he was persistent. Right? Because he just kept he kept casting it at you. Yeah. I kept dangling that worm. Yeah. He was just like, you know, like, if I posted anything, he would be like, you look cute.

So wait a minute. Public. Were you doing that in. Public form? No no no no no no, it was all through messenger. And then. You would make a comment on a Facebook post, picture. The profile pic like a perfect. That was like just early early days though.

Early early days. Like that's. Like how to land a lady on Facebook Allah the Jew. So like on on Facebook did he friend you immediately. Friend request. And you approved. Yeah. And you didn't know him? No, but I saw a picture of his, like. I like when he sent me a friend request.

I looked through his public profile pics and I saw a picture of him wearing Brittany's, cheetah print bra, and he was like, he had the sexiest bes. Like, oh my God. Like I was fucking weak. Like I was like, this man. So he was a hottie. Yeah, he had a good hottie dude picture on Facebook.

In Double D, bro. He was. Making a six pack and then it just went vs like. Could you see pants on him in the picture? Or did it look like he was naked. This long though? They were. They were loose. That's how he got me. It was that picture. And then I was just like smitten.

And then but I didn't give him no time. Like I gave him no time of day, I really was. You thought he said you were like, oh, this guy with his shirt off picture. I literally. Was on a lot of pictures. I was already like kind of talking to this one guy in the same town.

And it was like, I don't know, things were like fizzling out with that guy. Like, I don't, I don't know. You were in a good place to respond consistently. But he. Kept. He kept knocking on the door. No, I had just decided I did not want to be in a long distance relationship.

And like, that's why things had ended with this one, dude, you know, that. I was like, just seeing from the same hometown. So when this motherfucker came hollerin, I was like, oh my God. I just convinced myself that, like, I didn't want this type of relationship.

I did not want to continue to be long distance. I did not want to. But you didn't tell him to fuck off? No. Let him keep you. Let him keep. I showed. Up. Like layers of armor and like, did not want to fucking make this a thing. But, like, wait, where'd you show up?

And what convinced you to show up? Something like, sometimes it was just like how I showed up in text. Like I would just flirt back a little bit with him, but I wouldn't actually commit to seeing him planning anything. What kind of flirting would he do?

So, like. Tell me I was beautiful and he was. So he kept it simple like that. He didn't. He didn't get all like. No. For me. He didn't say anything nasty or. Short and sweet. Direct like very direct. Like it was. Like you're pretty. That was it. You look pretty. You're beautiful.

That kind of shit. When can I. When can I meet that beautiful face in person? Oh. Hey, now. When can I meet that beautiful face in person? When I see that beautiful face in person. But it was always some variant of that. Yeah, we only face. We only like face time.

Or we only. Yeah, we only FaceTime a couple times like 2 or 3 times. And was that after months of how when can I see that? Beautiful. It was like it was like one time hit up he he did Rachel I dated Justin. And then like. And then like a meeting up like a year later.

Like you. He friended you said, what's up? Yeah. And then nothing for like a year, year and a half. For friends. And like, I saw him post pictures of him and Rachel, and I just laughed because I was like, oh my God, lowkey. We kind of look alike. Like me and that girl are like similarly British pretty, you know, like.

British pretty. Yeah. So British British is right there. See this is. My God. Oh my God. Is this like okay so let's play it. Let's play a game. Let's play, let's play. Mary fuck or. Kill okay, okay. Wait to me. Is that what it is? Mary fucker. Is that.

It's Mary? Fuck! Kill, Mary. Fuck. Kill. Okay. Scarlett Johansson. Okay. And Watson. And. Wait, wait. I got to think of one more. Waiting patiently. I know I'm trying to think of, like who the third one would be. No, I know the one is gonna fuck. I mean.

I know they gonna fuck Mary Rihanna. Yeah. I'm gonna fuck Rihanna. I'm gonna marry Emma. I'm gonna kill Scarlett. Very kill. Mary, kill fuck Rihanna, Emma Watson and Scar Joe. He's gonna marry scar. Joe. John Parker is crazy. Yeah, yeah, and I'm gonna kill you.

See, we're both fucking Rihanna because we're both thinking the same way. That crazy fucking hurt. But I think. Or something like that. Or Puerto Rican or something, right? Like. Yeah. She's mixing. She's mixed with one of. Them that. A lot. She's she's.

Got that. Real good. Jean. She's a Dominican right. Yeah. She got that real good. No she's Brazilian, she's Brazil. Right. That's even more either way. Yeah. Yet resilient. She's got be a good fuck all of her between all of her tracks. I would say, okay, okay, I'm gonna play too.

So fuck Rianna like everybody. Yep. Hundreds. Yeah. Like the other two are solid marriage candidates, but Rihanna is just not. I love she got a fat ass. And, she just, like, in all the right ways. Like. No, Rihanna is. Fine, okay? And and just cool. But like, Mary. Emma.

I'm sorry, I have to. She shows. The voice. She's got divorced. Does. She's so smart, darling. She's phenomenal. She has such a beautiful accent. Yeah. She just. The way she talks is sexy anyway. And I'm sorry. That means kill Scalzo. Yeah. That's fine.

I love you so much. And I know you would marry her. And what does that say about us? Fundamentally. I don't think. I don't think he would right now. Because he's in with you. She fucked. She got a real good to. You see all the shit she does. On the Avengers.

Way that bitch. Out of all. Of them, I would say that I am the most like Scarlett Johansson. I'm more Scarlett than I am Emma. I think I'm way too curvy. Emma has the body of a beautiful little boy. I'm just kidding. She's not like she actually doesn't.

She has a beautiful body, but she's like, not super curvy. She's not. Like curvy. She's not like overly curvy by any means. But she's not. You know. Maybe if I was skinnier I would look more like him. But right now I like more like scar. Joe. Okay. Maybe, but I don't know.

Rihanna all day. I actually probably look the most like Rihanna. Have you guys seen her recent Fenty underwear ad? No, I have not. No, I have not. I've been looking. Yeah, yeah. Babe. Remind me later to play you that bitches first press conference like Rihanna.

No. Katie Zakaria the lady that fucking got ousted. Oh, the hottie they've got kicked out of a fired from press secretary. She's a good one to study because she's hot. So you can watch a press secretary do what they do. So when I get elected and you're the press secretary, you could be like, well, I watched that one with that hot chick that one time.

I seen how she did it. I try not to do it like that. I just did the opposite. I'm gonna do opposite day on that. The hot girl did. But he's just he's knows well enough to, like, not let anything slip. The Jews like a like a non informer. Look at my girl.

Oh, yeah. I mean, come on. For real. Rihanna. She's fucking. I'll sign it to you. We had. A major dropping it. Drop it. Dropping like it's hot. Rihanna. You know, except. Oh yeah man I'm working on the fucking accurate all day to day. I mean, seriously, like, if I were to look like any girl, that's who I look like.

She got a lot of forehead, though. That's like, so, so similar body shape as me. Look. We honest. Bought a lot. Of forehead right there. No, look at this one. This I can relate to like so much. Like, dude, that's like sex. Rihanna holiday. No, that's a picture that says I like bread and pasta and I might eat all of it.

I'm gonna eat all my dinner. We're nothing wrong with that. She did. Finish your meal. You like yummy. Finish your meal, girl. I wouldn't be doing this if it was scar. Joe. By the way. You wouldn't be sending those out. No, I'm. He threatened by the bitch because I knew she could come snatch a man.

I think you're I think you're underestimating the commitment of the Jew. I know me too. Me too. I'm just playing. You know, babe. What? You live super serial Jew. Are you. Are you threatening by Lisa's perspective on scars? Oh, no. See? You're good, Lisa.

Only worry about it. Thanks, man. You're welcome. Thanks, Andrew. Problem solved. We're good. Good. Here. Don't worry. Joe would have to work very hard to steal him away from, you. Know. She very, very hard. She. She'd have to put a lot of report match you.

Well, look, I love him. No, I love you, too. That's. Why you're tripping. Because, like, coming in here. What, you think she gonna find a picture of him? Do you think she can find that picture of him with Brittany's bra? I love him, sexy hips. Maybe.

Maybe I should be like. I got to find that, I find it. That's it. I got to find. And your heart's the same dick somebody told me about from around the lake a couple of months ago. From around the lake. Around the lake? Couple of months ago. You were here last episode.

That woman went fucked her husband. Timmy. I was that was the. That was the trail car. Yeah. Trail. I know, I was there. Last night. We were the last episode we were talking about when I was pissing out in front. I know during the. During the weekend.

The girls weekend. No, no. The other, the last week. There's another. Whiskey baby was here. Tell her to tell you. You had. It out in the street. No. Come on now. If you shut your partner. Listen, I better tell you damn story. Woman. What happened was. It's too.

About a month ago. I mean, with all due respect. All right. Is that better, bro? Yeah. So fucking. We got done at podcast and it was dark. We were all that front bullshit. And I started. I went around the corner to the house, take piss. And they were some other walking down the street.

Steve was like two people and I'm. Like. So I stopped pissing. But they were up there by the in the like by the driveway, and I was way over there in the corner. They only walked like ten feet farther and then just turn around and walk back. And, Mike was theorizing.

They saw the Jew and and turned around and walked away. Yeah, that's what Mike Steve was saying, that they were losing their shit. Maybe because they probably had possibly saw me pissing in the dark when these boys could barely see I was pissing me away.

I saw him at the corner of my eye and I was like, I think the juice being over there, but I don't care. I'm not paying any more attention than what I've seen. But it was dark. I mean, there's no way to sell my cock. You know what I mean? Okay. He had his back to them. I'm pretty sure my whole back to him.

The whole time. He was peeing towards the house, so. Okay, well I'm sure. Okay. So that's. How you make a big deal of it. But yeah, I mean, that's still like two incidences of almost exposing trail cock like. This has been neighborhood. This is neighborhood cock.

And this neighborhood cat. You got to be even more careful in neighborhood with the car. Yeah, it was dark before. Yeah, obviously, there's children around, you know, it. Could. Be children. Might see them. He was. If he had his dick out, it's probably in the bushes.

He was so close to the bushes. This one. There's this one lady that like if she were to see it, she would never leave him alone. You're talking about the lady that wants to meet that. He cooks it walks around the neighborhood? Yes. There's nothing. There's nothing that can be done about that. Lisa.

And that lady lives here. Lady lives here. And I'm glad that, like. My. Mother, the one walking, walking by. Staying there, she can't help but to her mouth waters. Every time she smells. You need. You need to play. You need to play. Like the Larry David saw a theme song from like.

That's. Yeah. For what? Why? Because the lady walks by like she's Larry Damon. No, because I feel like in my life is an episode of The Larry David Show. Well. Because, like I said, like, if the cut went to, like, that lady walking by, and then she accidentally sees my man's dick, like.

So that's that's what you think would play like she would see his dick and then she. David. There you go. That's how the episode went end. Like that's how this episode would end. Like we'd go out to. And then she said she was Dick. Wow. Like you would fall down.

What would happen in the show is you would fall after worrying about this woman getting any kind of action with the Jew, because how she smelled her, how she smelled his meat and commented about it. So then you'd be not. Commented on? No, you would be leaving.

That was the way that Larry David episode would go. Would be you would be leaving the house? Yeah. And the Jew would walk. She wouldn't be walking. The Jew would walk you out and y'all would get a little smoochy kiss on. And she would be standing across the street walking by.

And you would slip because it'd be icy out or something. And you grab his pants and pull his pants down and she'd see his dick, and then the music would. Be a great Larry. That would. Yes. That's how the end of the episode would happen. It would be the Jew standing there. But it would be my fault.

It'd be your fault. That's fucked up. And Larry David would go there. That's how the show would go. That's how Larry David would run. You'd be like, you'd be like, oh, slippery, I'm falling. And grab his pants on your way down. And the pants would come off and there there would be the lady walking.

By like, make it her fault kind of guy, I mean, that would be fucking bittersweet irony. Just good. Larry David. Any. Thank you. Well, yeah. I'm glad you picked up where I was putting down. Yeah, yeah, I did, I figured it out. Ladies and gentlemen. With that said, we're gonna have to bring this episode of Sheer Stupidity to a close.

We'd like to thank you so much for listening. We'd like to encourage you to listen to old episodes. As long as you're not. Lisa, check out the new ones, too. Like that. I mean, if you're going to check out all the episodes, be wary of the titles. Steer clear ones that might not work out for you.

But yeah. Don't forget. Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. No, Mike's doing sexy macho. Yeah. There you go. That was good. Oh, yeah. You can't even get as deep as Mike. That's the problem. That's the problem. That's why nobody can do it. Like. He can't get there.

That bears aren't. Yeah. I can't do it. I mean, he makes my face weird. I'm like vibration of your nose. Yeah, yeah. Makes me weird. Who, you. I can't wait for Mike to see this episode. Dude. I'm dying. Anyway. Don't forget, we love you very much. Be nice to people that look like.

You'd be nice to people who don't look like you. Don't be a dick. Yep. Keep grinding on trying to get done because that's how it's going to get done. Don't forget, we love you very much. At peace be with you. Oh, Jesus. Robert Earl King junior.