Birthday Beatdowns, Broken Ribs & Wild Family Stories — Episode 1048

[01:51] Matter of fact, when I go on vacation. [01:53] You need to hire someone to do that if it's legitimate. [01:57] Yeah, you need to hire a pro to go over there and pick it up from him. [02:00] I'm even delivering here. [02:02] But it's heavy that. [02:04] It doesn't have three slate panels. [02:06] Very big. Thick. [02:07] Because if you're going to have one, you might as well have one with slate. [02:10] Because. [02:11] Well, they make them now without non slate. [02:14] Yeah. But this motherfucker is heavy because. [02:16] There's still 4 or 500 pounds. Yeah. [02:18] Because we played it at my house when I had, at my house [02:21] we were playing To Be You, Velvet Smoky that day on the basic plane. [02:24] That's the same pool table. [02:26] I got sticks and everything. [02:27] That all the shit with it. [02:29] It's just been sitting in my storage unit for the past. [02:32] Fuck. [02:32] I don't know how many goddamn years. [02:34] Where the storage unit at Warrenton. [02:37] Right there. [02:38] Cross from Walmart. [02:44] And the wheels turn. [02:46] Yeah, because getting it down here, though. [02:49] That's insane. [02:49] Like, you need to hire a professional.

[02:51] When I [02:53] move that bitch twice and. [02:56] You barely got it done. I'm not. [02:58] I was gonna hire some people. [03:00] Yeah, I say both. Both times. It's. [03:03] Ideally you hire someone to go to a pool table that's set up at someone's house, [03:06] break it down and bring it to your house and set it up. [03:09] Yeah. [03:09] That's ideal. [03:10] By somebody. Pool table. They give it to you. [03:13] You hire the people. [03:14] The fucking pieces. Like. [03:16] Because I want to say I take the bag to the fucking pool table with all the bolts. [03:21] And when I have to take extra the part [03:24] because you got to put the legs back on it, you know what I mean? [03:28] To build the base. [03:30] Then you got to put whatever the fucking playing surface is down. [03:33] Yeah. [03:34] And get that all even in perfect, and then get that covered and. [03:37] Then put the fell down. [03:38] Yeah. No, you don't need to put the felt and everything. [03:40] It's all on it. Like, [03:43] all you got to do is really put the legs on it and stand that bitch up. [03:46] But flipping that bad [03:51] I. Get that should have killed you. [03:52] That should.

[03:53] Just tell you, man. You have to take it apart, though. [03:56] Like all the way. [03:56] Like to get to the. [04:00] Slate slate. [04:01] It's just. Would I. [04:03] Just take the legs off? Remember the legs. [04:05] The legs are like. [04:06] Fucking the thing that the ball is wrong. [04:09] Yeah. Yeah, yeah. [04:10] If yours isn't slate, it's not like [04:13] it's not as nice as the slate table is. [04:17] Yeah, it's not as nice as a slate table. [04:18] But I'm only point is, if you're going to pay someone to move [04:21] something like that, it's going to be a lot of money to move Mike's shit. [04:25] But it's still going to be a lot of money to move a slate table. [04:28] So if you can get a slave table, I'd go for that. [04:30] But if Mike's giving you that shit [04:32] for free, like, and somebody can go and work with it, [04:36] what you need to do is figure out the the model and the brand and all that. [04:39] And then you call someone and say how much to install this brand, model this. [04:44] And they would say X amount. [04:46] Yeah.

[04:47] Like that's what I've been working back and forth with this cat name one [04:51] from DMV pool service or something like that. [04:54] And he's like, I need this, that and the other one do. [04:57] You told me. [04:58] He said, we're kind of pull a world leader. He talking about. [05:01] All right. That's going to be at least 19. I'm like 1900. [05:04] I'm talking about moving to call people. Call Pepper. [05:06] Fuck you talking about. [05:08] Well, it's super heavy. It's dangerous. [05:10] It's like I moved. [05:12] But I mean, that's your your business. [05:13] Is pool table moving. [05:14] So. Yeah, that's. Why you charge big money. [05:17] What are you going to do? [05:20] I mean, not like that, but I mean, goddamn. [05:23] That bitch is bad that. I know they haven't. [05:24] I know they were heavy. When I first bought that bitch. [05:27] Just straight dead weight, like World's strongest man type shit like that. [05:32] Man, my homie. [05:33] I work, shit's fall in. [05:34] Your leg gets chopped up when the panel falls. [05:37] She said when she was like, y'all got a pool. [05:39] If you want some back, I got to the house.

[05:41] She's like, look, you had to break it down and move it. [05:44] I'm like, I should be no problem. [05:45] I hit my homie up, man. We went over there. [05:48] We just. [05:49] Had no idea what you get yourself in. [05:50] Fuck no, man. [05:51] Me, it's got this pool table and I had I had a luckily he brought another dude [05:56] with him. [05:57] All three of us. [05:57] We struggled just to get it out of the house [05:59] and then having to take it into my crib and down the damn steps, bro. [06:03] Oh, what's that guy in that bitch? [06:05] I'm like, yeah, I ain't gotta worry about this motherfucker more than that. [06:08] End up losing [06:09] the house, had a break down again and move that motherfucker in the snow. [06:13] Oh, bro. [06:16] Bro, you talking about a bad boy? [06:19] Did I move to the get. [06:20] I moved it from the storage unit that was up here to the motherfucking [06:24] storage unit in Warrenton. [06:25] I'm trying to think you help me move to this. [06:27] Nobody helped me move that motherfucking editor. [06:29] That was all me that day. [06:31] I moved that motherfucker by my fucking self, bruh. [06:34] War. The fuck?

[06:35] It was the last thing I had moved. [06:38] Sound like a dog in it, but I'm not. [06:39] I would rather have a pool table that's been set up in someone's basement [06:43] and not have Mike break it down four times, move to four different places. [06:47] You know what I'm saying? [06:48] Like, if it's in somebody's house, it's all there, you know? [06:51] It's all there, Mike. Shit. [06:52] It might be all there. [06:53] It's probably all there. [06:54] But yeah, I'll check for you. [06:56] Like I go to the storage unit this weekend. [06:58] Like I go do it on Sunday and fucking check before I come up here. [07:02] Yeah. [07:03] Get the modeling brand and you can. [07:05] See it here, because. [07:06] Whoever can do. I told kid, I said, [07:09] I told kid on Thursday. [07:11] I said, man, if you hadn't have bought that pool table, [07:14] apparently he bought a pool table. I give him the motherfucker. [07:16] I got to get rid of it. [07:17] I glad you said something about fucking. [07:20] If you said that first. [07:21] When I first originally said pool table, did we really have that conversation. [07:24] When you said you gotta know what you.

[07:26] Lisa said you had a pool table coming. [07:28] That somebody was giving you a pool was like, the fuck? [07:30] Oh, yeah, that's right. We didn't have that conversation. [07:32] Yeah, yeah. [07:33] We all thought he had it all under control. [07:35] I thought it was going to be reminded. That conversation. [07:37] That's why I was like, shit. Man. [07:39] You work out too. [07:40] Well, that went over there and that was a dog shit toy. [07:42] Apparently. The pool table. [07:44] Yeah. Pockets. [07:45] You know what I mean? [07:45] Like the wrap around the pockets, you know, I mean. [07:48] 1900. [07:49] Now, that one was free. [07:50] These they won 900 movie pool table. [07:52] The moving company that I called, [07:55] that's what they wanted. [07:56] Yeah. [07:57] I mean, I had to pay someone 5 or 600 just to set the one up that I already had [08:00] built in my basement. [08:01] And that's just moving the panels from one side of the room to the other. [08:04] I think about a grand a fucking head, motherfucker move and set up for him, [08:07] you know what I mean? Like that ain't. [08:08] Back when I first got mine. [08:09] It only cost me 500. I have to think.

[08:11] Fucking move from one place to the other and set up and broke down. [08:13] That's what I'm screaming. [08:14] So I gave him a brand. Now. [08:15] I mean, God damn. I help you, motherfucker! [08:18] Yeah, yeah. [08:19] Hey, if I may raise no bitch, I help shit. [08:22] Nowhere else on the waiver. [08:23] Then if I get hurt, I put you on. [08:25] All pool tables are dangerous. [08:27] I know they they they real. [08:29] I mean, my best way. [08:30] I think they best thing for him to come down the hill a little bit. [08:32] They have to. That's the only thing they can do. [08:36] Yeah. [08:36] I mean, do you have to walking around and come in through there? Yeah. [08:39] They coming down the stairs. Fuck all that. [08:41] No no no, you're not getting it in the house. [08:43] You got to come around back. [08:44] That's the only way to come in. [08:47] And that's just going to take a break. [08:49] Hold on. We got to take a break here. All right. Ready? [08:51] Get yourself together. One, two. [08:53] Three up. Let's go. [08:53] I had the kicker board ready. [08:55] Talk that wheel. [08:57] Yeah. [09:00] But yeah, man. [09:01] I'll go check it out this Sunday, man.

[09:03] That'll help me get rid of that shit. I'm. [09:05] I'm tired of paying for the Scott damn storage unit, man, with all this shit. [09:08] I need to go there and check it out anyway. You know what else you got, Mike? [09:11] What else are you getting rid of? Store here, I mean, my. [09:14] Well, yeah. [09:15] Come on now. [09:16] I got a fucking football. [09:18] Sarah doesn't want to get rid of this. I still don't know why. [09:20] Fucking foosball table. [09:22] I got one of them. Yeah. Is it a good one? [09:25] I don't think. [09:26] Mr. Juice moves, man. [09:28] Is it heavy as fuck you need. The heavier the better, bro. [09:30] No, this is a light one. Oh, yeah. That's no good. [09:33] Like, what you need is like a 400 pound foosball table. [09:35] So when you fucking swing the shit out of it, you know, and you'd be like, [09:38] fuck out and spin that motherfucker hard. [09:40] The whole thing doesn't move. [09:41] She was like, it was. It was. Her roommate. [09:44] And I were up there playing that shit [09:45] when we were moving you in here, and, like, it was fun. [09:48] Don't get me wrong. But, like, you can't get super aggressive. [09:51] You can't get aggressive.

No. [09:53] Everything's bailed out of that little [09:56] fake ass wood bullshit. [09:59] Yeah, yeah. [10:00] That's that's something. Unless you spend in, like, two grand and shit. [10:03] You know what I mean? By that point, you might as well build one of them. [10:05] Goddamn, that can't be too hard. [10:07] Because she. Was building. Own building. [10:10] If you took the cheap components that are used [10:12] for spinning it and built, like a really nice heavy duty wood. [10:16] Yeah, you could use two by 40. [10:17] Two by 12. Or whatever. [10:19] Two by six wouldn't be able to build some. [10:20] They would have some nice have to put. [10:22] Two by sixes on the wall on the end. [10:24] That's it in the house. [10:25] Fucking going to put a nice fucking 4x4 frame on that bitch. [10:29] Yeah bro. [10:30] Come on you fucking shaking that up to the world. [10:33] There something you got to have like three of the homies come to help you move. [10:36] Trying to move it [10:36] after you and you build it in one spot and that's where it's going to be. [10:40] Like, you literally build it in the spot where you want it to stay. [10:42] When you're done, you're like, let's go.

[10:44] Yeah, yeah, you got enough space. [10:48] Go right over there. [10:49] Between the pillars. [10:50] And busters, bro. Yeah, yeah, yeah. [10:53] Just don't let fucking slap on top of it because, you know, you're probably. [10:57] Gonna know. [10:57] I'm gonna tell. Yeah, I know that. [11:01] Yeah, that is terrible for a pool table. [11:02] Yeah, I'm gonna tell them. [11:04] Watch belly. [11:09] Go put out that pool table. [11:10] We'll see what happens. [11:12] Yeah, yeah. [11:12] Real problem coming down here with the plastic. [11:15] Yeah, yeah. [11:17] You got time talking leaks out of fucking on that table. [11:20] Yeah. Now ain't coming all the way down here. [11:22] Yeah you will. [11:24] And when nobody's around [11:26] down here [11:28] I can't. [11:28] I can't eat now I can't be. [11:30] What's going. [11:31] To happen though. Upstairs I was too fired up. [11:33] Yeah. [11:34] You know I. [11:36] Can't I ain't going to be fucking on that. [11:37] Don't I can't be like I can't, I ain't gonna rest of that thing tipping. [11:40] I'll be worried about that tipping. Tip [11:43] for you. [11:43] Enough. That fucking falling. [11:44] They have to pick it back up like now.

[11:46] Fuck all that. [11:47] We can go upstairs. [11:48] We'll be right there. [11:52] You go at least pregame on it. [11:56] Just play just the tip of the table. [11:59] Let put this ball in the corner pocket. [12:04] There's definitely no extra ball rolled on the table. [12:07] So I'll make sure. No extra balls. [12:10] Yeah I'll make sure I put at least some panties on when I got to play pool. [12:13] You know, I ain't gonna have it out there dangling. [12:17] I can't be out there playing hangman around the pool banana [12:21] before I'm out here. [12:22] Latches thing on up here now. [12:27] Do you think so? [12:29] Yeah. [12:31] Yeah, man. So how are we? [12:33] Let me know. [12:34] I got you, Brian. [12:35] I ain't no thing. Fuck. [12:37] Like I said, man, I'm trying to cut some expenses around, man. [12:41] Like fuck. [12:41] You know that damn storage unit is, [12:45] damn it, 300 a month, you know? [12:47] Yeah. I don't want a cheap foosball table. [12:49] If you had, like, one of them, 400 pounds, and I'd have to get, like, [12:53] five people to help me. [12:53] Move, it's definitely one. [12:55] That's like. I think that one is.

[12:58] It's still, I think regulations 54in, I think. [13:02] And that bitch is 48 when I got okay. [13:05] So yeah, you'd have to get [13:07] a regulation size inexpensive one and then build a whole new thing. [13:11] Or I guess you could maybe even just wait it down, you know, [13:15] I mean, you should do something. [13:17] You should be able to get a hold of. [13:19] What I would do is get a hold of a good company [13:21] and then just buy the fucking all the fucking replacement placement arm shits. [13:26] That's it. [13:27] You know, and then you build everything else. [13:30] Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, [13:33] we think we'll be trying to find that. [13:38] You'd have to order the gold thing [13:39] from them too, because that'd be hard to remake that if you can [13:42] piece of like pool table slate and use that as your base, [13:47] that'd be incredible. [13:52] But that's, you know, [13:54] we're being ridiculous now. [13:56] We're talking about. Yeah, some extra shit. [13:59] Yeah. Bro. [13:59] All about it. [14:00] That ball is going to be fucking [14:03] just gliding across that shit. [14:08] Slate bottom.

[14:12] Line across that [14:14] brand new piece on Felted Slate. [14:17] Has your 54 inch bass for the foosball table. [14:21] That motherfucker ain't going nowhere when you spin on that shit. [14:24] You know what I'm saying? [14:25] Yeah. [14:28] That will be heavy. Yeah. [14:29] You got to build a real heavy duty set up to put that on, slap [14:32] that on there and put on the external pieces. [14:37] Yep, man. [14:41] Fucking [14:43] you hear all the drama with the what is that, the Grand Theft Auto. [14:47] Now I still don't be all digital. [14:52] Then they're going to make their going to bring the hard copy out. [14:55] Well they're saying that PlayStation is saying [14:57] that they're not going to have a disk drive in the future. [14:59] Yeah. There'll be no hard copy of. A game. [15:02] All games will be digital. Like fuck that. No. [15:04] People don't like that. No, I don't blame them. [15:07] No, I don't like it either. Like, fuck you. [15:09] I don't want to just have a little booklet. [15:11] I want to have the actual disc.

[15:13] Yeah, give me that, motherfucker, because you ain't going to lock my shit up [15:16] or take my shit away, because now you want some kind of payment or whatever. [15:19] My internet's down or whatever. [15:21] I don't get to play Grand Theft. I hate that kind of shit. [15:23] You haven't logged in enough to play the game, [15:26] so we're just going to take it away. We spend your account? [15:29] Yep. Put in a new password every now. [15:31] Fuck you. [15:33] What's your bank account information now? [15:35] I kiss my dad. [15:36] Yeah. No, I need to be able to play this game. [15:38] That's why I missed the old school shit, man. [15:40] I missed that old school. Mike, you don't have to miss it. [15:42] You can still have it. Old school shit's all still available. [15:45] That is true. [15:46] Whatever you like. [15:47] You want our old games, man? [15:50] Have a blast. Satan, bitches. [15:52] All that shit at the peak. [15:53] Right back at it. [15:54] Like, fuck the shit I got my girl. [15:56] Remember that? [15:57] The game. Superintendent. [16:00] Handheld playing Carmen Sandiego when she had that bitch?

[16:03] I know I saved my shit on there, but all I got to do is law back in typing [16:07] three letters and I'm back in the same spot I left off on [16:11] because that was my game back in the day, especially school detention. [16:14] Man, third grade intentions would turn me on to Carmen. [16:16] San Diego. [16:17] Just the game. [16:18] Yeah. You never seen the TV show? [16:20] Yeah, yeah, I watched these to watch TV show all that shit. [16:23] But the game, that's where it was at. Like. [16:25] Because when I was in detention. Fuck. [16:28] I want to do the third grade. I stayed in detention, like. [16:31] Yeah, yeah, I had a lot of years in detention. [16:32] I don't think. [16:33] I remember when my mom came to school and they were looking at the chart [16:37] and they were like, yo, what's this chart here? [16:39] Why is how come you don't have a lot of stars? [16:41] Because that's for the kids that ain't been in detention. [16:44] I only got a couple stars because I'm always in detention, you know what. [16:48] I mean? Yeah. [16:48] And they're like, why? It wasn't because I wasn't doing my work. [16:51] It was just be talking back.

[16:52] Like she didn't make sense, right? Yeah. [16:55] It's the same reason I always got in trouble. [16:57] So I'm. [16:57] Like, I'm like, [16:58] you just said this and you said that, and they contradict each other. [17:02] Well, you got to get out of class. [17:03] So third grade, I was always in attention. [17:05] And the woman that did detention, she would always ask me, [17:08] like, what did you hear for the damn like, honestly, I don't even know any more. [17:11] Like she was like, well, you want to just play these games [17:14] because everybody else is outside reason I'm in detention fucking all right. [17:18] She had the Oregon Trail. Oh, yeah. [17:22] Fire Carmen San Diego. [17:24] And there was one more [17:26] Prince of Persia. [17:28] Prince of Persia? [17:29] Yeah, on fucking the PC and fucking man. [17:32] I used to play the fuck out of that game. [17:34] I got to this one level I couldn't pass, you know. [17:37] And just so happens when we got our computer, when we moved up here [17:41] and I was like ten years old. [17:43] My dad had that game.

[17:44] Remember when fucking like [17:48] when you had the internet came on the fucking the time [17:51] for the internet came on the fucking disk. [17:52] Like you got these disk in the mail for getting free internet [17:56] for X amount of time. [17:57] The AOL disk, ten hours for free. Bro. [17:59] We had so many of these bitches young, so. [18:02] You would just link them up and get another ten hours for free, bruh. [18:05] All the time we had, we had free internet. [18:09] I don't know how long. [18:10] Like, I was one of the only friends when I first moved up there like, oh shit, [18:14] I have this. Like, I can play this game, man. [18:17] I was on this motherfucking game. [18:18] And I finally had got past the stage that I've been on for like months. [18:22] You know, my sister comes there, she's like, it's my turn to play the computer. [18:27] Like, look, how about [18:30] I fucking play this game and you. [18:33] Go fuck yourself? And I'm like. [18:35] You let me finish this shit up and you can have this computer all day tomorrow. [18:40] You can. Matter of fact, you can have it all weekend.

[18:42] I won't even bother you if you just let me play this through, [18:47] because I fucking finally pass this shit right now. [18:50] She wanted to be asshole. [18:51] You still mad at your sister for 25 years ago? [18:55] No no no no no no. [18:56] And you play Carmen Sandiego all the way. [18:57] There was. A car. [18:59] But I was just like. [19:00] I told her. [19:00] I was like, look, it was the one game that I was like, [19:03] I hadn't beaten, and I was about to beat this motherfucker. [19:05] Like. It's just unfinished business. Yeah it is. [19:08] You couldn't step into me in this business. [19:10] I'm trying to get finished. [19:11] Exactly. [19:12] This is business transaction, right? Yeah. [19:14] She took me out that chair and fucking the keyboard. [19:17] Flew the computer, blanked off. [19:19] Yeah, I lost my shit. [19:22] Remember the claw you grabbed, motherfuckers. [19:25] Temples? Yeah, bro. [19:27] I latched onto her motherfucking. [19:28] Face. [19:29] And claw, and I'm squeezing her fucking temple. [19:31] She's crying. Losing. [19:33] My mom is screaming at my brother to get me. [19:36] Put your sister in the Iron Claw. [19:38] Texas tornado. Yeah.

[19:41] Wow. That's on her ass. [19:43] My brother's like, I ain't get into it because he ain't me up. [19:46] Now, my brother's ten years older than me, and I'm just like, this bitch pissed me [19:50] the fuck off. [19:51] You know, I got off of, though. [19:53] You know what I'm saying? [19:54] Michael? You're a violent individual. [19:56] I told you that when I was a kid, I was very. [19:58] It didn't take much. [20:00] It didn't take much. [20:01] Michael leaned into violence as a young man. [20:04] That look that day. Look. [20:05] I keep talking about this. [20:09] I was picked out a lot when I. [20:11] Was younger to you. [20:12] First, Michael started this. [20:15] Good faith. [20:16] Who's the catalyst for this? [20:18] Because it wasn't a sterling. [20:20] It had to be a Fairfax. [20:22] Anybody in your family? [20:23] It was. You were literally fighting with the children at school. Yeah. [20:26] Some kid wanted to smoke. [20:28] Some kid was like a big motherfucker. [20:30] Think he big? [20:31] I could tell you exactly when it started. [20:33] I remember. [20:34] Like, watch Richard. [20:36] That's Michael in second grade. It's hood, [20:40] Richard Hood.

[20:41] Return the hood. [20:42] But look, I. Remember what was going to happen to you. [20:45] You wouldn't keep doing what you're doing. [20:48] I remember what had happened. [20:49] Because you don't know what it's like when I hit you. My. [20:51] All my uncles are now. [20:53] When I was little, [20:54] I thought these were like my grandfathers, but they were my great uncles. [20:57] Whatever. And I'll go over to the house. And they were, you know, they. [21:00] They must have seemed all this shit, dude. [21:02] They did. [21:03] Yeah. [21:03] Like 20, like 47 year old uncle. [21:06] But they had been living hard since they. Yeah, yeah. [21:08] Because they drink all the time like they drink. Naughty. Here. [21:11] That was their drink. [21:12] Naughty hit. [21:13] Not a hit. [21:13] Gin and fucking orange juice. [21:15] That's what they drink all the time. [21:17] Checking that juice to stay. [21:19] Staying drunk looking oldest. [21:21] But here's the thing, though. You never knew they were drunk. [21:23] They would drink this shit. Like, every all day long. [21:26] You wouldn't know this. That's what I mean when I say stay in Trump. [21:29] They just. That's how they work.

That's how. They were. [21:31] They weren't. [21:32] Yeah. I've known old folks like that back in the day. [21:34] I always look old as fuck. So fucking. [21:36] I remember what I was telling them, that I was getting picked on a school. [21:39] They're like, look, you are stronger than most [21:43] hands. [21:44] You get them hands to somebody, [21:46] man. You land on somebody with one of these motherfuckers, [21:49] they're going to stop fucking with you. And I'm like, all right, whatever. [21:52] Like they talk to me and try and boost me up, right? [21:55] I remember the two motherfuckers. [21:57] It was Cordell and Jonathan. [21:58] These motherfuckers were older than me. [22:00] I'll never forget this because. [22:02] You told me. They say stole your ice cream. [22:04] No, no, these motherfuckers dragged me through dog shit. [22:06] Yeah, yeah, that's what it was, man. [22:08] You caught them at the ice cream truck. [22:10] Yeah, and I beat the shit out of both of them. [22:13] And that's what. That's what it all clicked was like. [22:15] All right, but my uncles are right. [22:17] I put my hands on the motherfucker. [22:19] They going to learn.

[22:20] So you beat up two kids in the neighborhood [22:22] at the ice cream truck, and then you had to move the fuck your county [22:25] sound like a Fast and Furious movie, you know what I'm saying? [22:29] Mike's Tokyo Drift only is your drift. [22:32] Your drifting. [22:35] Country drift. [22:38] Country drift. [22:39] 12 coming at you exclusively. [22:42] Yeah, but as a kid, I used to fight all the time. Like that was. [22:44] That was my grandma told me when I almost killed my cousin, [22:47] my grandma was like, nah, you got to get your attitude in check. [22:49] That's why I did the Special Olympics shit and calm down a lot. [22:52] That's all that happened. [22:54] Okay, you can't get mad at these guys. [22:56] Yeah, that's what my grandma told me when I almost killed my cousin. [22:59] She said, you need to get your attitude in check. [23:01] You're going to be a coach at the Special Olympics. [23:02] I'm like, I'm not. [23:04] Whatever the. Fuck is. She made. A weekend. [23:07] My mom was dropping me off with my uncle. [23:09] There'll be a coach of Special Olympics. [23:11] I'm like, my grandma don't even live with us. [23:13] Like, how the hell is this happening? Like.

[23:16] You fucked up, man. Yeah. Yeah. Basically. [23:18] So you almost killed your cousin? Yeah. Yeah. [23:20] You stopped. Breathing. For a while. Fucked up [23:24] even for a while. [23:25] He's not breathing. All right, come on now. [23:28] We're on. I get to come on now, momma. [23:30] Coming out here now. Come on. [23:31] You better give him fucking mouth to mouth because that's your kid. [23:33] Somebody get out some water. I'll tell him. My grandma was like. [23:36] It was his fault. [23:38] You were dragging one on him. [23:39] If he dies, he dies. That's there. [23:42] Because I was like, I was mad. [23:43] I was like, fuck, I told you not to do this. [23:45] Look, you made me do this to you. [23:47] This is why you're on. [23:48] You sound like an abusive husband. [23:51] Look what you made me do. [23:54] I look, I told. Him that she was looking at the side of your head, but. [23:57] You look. He didn't. [23:58] Know what you made me do to you. [23:59] Exactly why you make me beat you so bad. You. [24:03] I told you to listen. [24:04] You didn't want to listen. You want to see if. [24:07] You couldn't parry one of them left.

[24:10] Why had he couldn't have gone in there like Batman? [24:12] Roll with the punches. [24:14] And I laid back. At me. Clean the fuck out. [24:17] We've got a couple of come back with the uppercut. [24:19] But I did learn to calm down with the kids. [24:22] The Special Olympics, the all Special Olympics coaches. [24:25] Special Olympics is the reason why you ended up being a nice man, [24:29] not a psychopath. [24:30] Yeah, that's what kept him. [24:31] And that's what Kevin. [24:32] Together as we turned his boat just to. [24:34] Keep him. Just. [24:35] He could be on this show with us for as long as we right that happy medium. [24:39] Just kidding. [24:40] You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. [24:42] If I would have stayed out in Fairfax, I'd have been on that other side. [24:45] I'd have been that you heard some shit about. [24:47] Mike would have killed somebody at a fucking. [24:49] I'd have been on 20, 21. Crazy shit. [24:52] Yeah. 2020. [24:55] Some Dateline NBC shit. [25:01] Because I hear everything was coming. [25:03] I only got in like a couple couple fights out here when I. [25:06] When I first got out of here.

[25:07] Yeah, I remember getting in one big fight when I first came out here, [25:11] but then after that it was there were a few in between. [25:14] But a lot of people didn't fuck with you. [25:16] I realized a motherfucker my size [25:19] and people see me do some shit that normal motherfuckers can't do. [25:23] They're like, yo, this is my fucking right. Like, okay. [25:26] Yeah, yeah. [25:26] When you get that fucking. [25:27] Beat, when you twist somebody's head off and shoot it through a basketball hoop, [25:30] like they're going to be like, you know what? [25:32] I don't think I want to be friends with that guy. [25:35] That could be. [25:36] Yeah, you gotta be nice, be nice and jovial. [25:38] And then everybody's like, oh, big Mike, he's great. [25:40] He wouldn't hurt a fly. [25:41] And then like, [25:42] remember the time he twisted Timmy's head off and do it to the basketball he. [25:45] Did over there? But yeah, I definitely do. [25:48] You hear about Jonathan a dice cream truck. [25:50] You see what he did? Who was it? It was me. [25:53] It was me. KP chippy. [25:56] He was with us and we were at KP, so we picked up.

[25:59] I can't remember the motherfucker we picked up. [26:00] We picked up somebody, some random cat that we knew. [26:03] We picked him up and roll with us that day. [26:05] We used to do that. [26:06] Motherfucker was just chilling. [26:07] Happened to say you and ride. [26:09] Let's roll. [26:09] Come on. [26:10] I was sitting on KP, was in KP. [26:13] I'm sitting on the couch. The motherfucker sitting like, right here. [26:15] Where you at? [26:16] And I'm just sitting there and I don't know [26:18] what the fuck made me do it, but I had this urge. [26:20] I said, man, I ain't smacked the motherfucker in a minute. [26:24] And KP looked me dead now because he knew what was about to happen. [26:27] He goes, man, if you feel like doing it, [26:31] do it. [26:32] I was like, you know what? You're right. [26:34] And I just backhanded this month. Fuck you. [26:38] That's my fucking just went flying. [26:40] And I was like. [26:45] This land. [26:46] And he goes, what the fuck you? [26:49] I said, man, my bad, bro. [26:51] Like, I just had this urge, man, that you was the right there. [26:55] Like, you see these other backed up, but you didn't. [26:58] Yeah.

[26:58] You just happened to be that ball fucking. [27:01] Might start a slap fighting in [27:03] years before it ever happened. [27:05] Oh my gosh man. [27:06] Me and my cousin, we used to slap box all the time. [27:08] Rufio. That motherfucker used to get me, man. [27:11] That motherfucker used to light me up. [27:12] I'm like, all right, we had fun. [27:15] My birthday beat that. [27:16] That was one of the best. Birthday every day. [27:18] Like you punched him in the face and he's like, yeah. [27:20] Yeah, he should beat the brakes off each other out there, right? [27:25] We got the concussion. [27:27] That was Mikey's for Mikey game back because Trent broke his ribs [27:31] that. [27:31] You know, he just doesn't sound like a healthy family. [27:34] No they jumped these. [27:36] Bro jumping [27:38] 1616 to jump you into a gang that doesn't exist. [27:42] Oh, he's. On the ground. Yeah. What did that. [27:45] That's what he's kicking in France. [27:47] It's like. [27:48] It's like kids and. [27:49] Shit, man. Like, what the fuck? At the park type shit. [27:52] The skateboarding. Every. Every birthday. [27:54] It's like, well, when's again his ass whipping? Where?

[27:57] Yeah, yeah. [27:57] Like, God damn. [27:59] Y'all, they got me at liberty. [28:01] I never forget that one. Because they got me good. They. [28:03] They surrounded me. [28:04] And I'm like, I got this. [28:06] I'm boxing all three of them. [28:07] I'm lighting them up. I was like, y'all ain't getting me. [28:09] And then I started noticing Mikey and he bigger than me. [28:13] He ran in me and I'm like, where the fuck this motherfucker? [28:15] I paid him out. [28:16] Mikey, what the fuck? [28:17] Next thing you. Know, I studied KP. [28:20] He disappeared on me. I'm like, fuck, this is me in Trenton. [28:22] We bomb, bomb, we banging, and he he does it. [28:26] Had this laugh with him and he would go, hey. [28:29] And I'm like, oh fuck. [28:30] He did that laugh. I'm like, they didn't set me up. [28:33] As soon as he did that laugh, KP then got behind me. [28:36] He's on the ground. [28:37] Yeah, he just pushed me. Boom. [28:39] I fall over and as I'm going over say that's the moon right there. [28:43] I'm looking at the moon. [28:45] My cousin's big ass is in the air like this. [28:47] And the moon got blocked. [28:48] He's by the belly flop. [28:50] Boom lands on me.

[28:51] I black the fuck out for a while. [28:53] I'm like, shit. [28:54] He barely flopped on your face. [28:56] No, he belly flop. [28:58] His whole body is on my body. [28:59] Like all the air that I had. [29:01] And then me no more. [29:03] I don't even see him jumping like that. [29:04] Yeah, he just fell over on him. [29:07] Anybody just fell over on you. [29:10] To me. Look like he. Was in the air. [29:12] Goddamn. [29:13] I mean, first time ever. [29:18] When I came [29:19] to, I was like, yo, baby, y'all good, I appreciate y'all. [29:22] Happy birthday, I appreciate it. [29:23] Thank you for the brain damage. [29:25] Yeah. Like, what is wrong with you, man? [29:28] You ain't raising your children like this. [29:29] I know they don't. [29:31] Do, but kids don't jump each other and each other. [29:34] Like we used to. [29:37] We used to blast doing that shit, man, that was fun. Yo. [29:40] Awesome idiots, man. [29:42] We had fun doing that shit. [29:44] Mike got just the right amount of brain damage. [29:45] We just, like, beat the woman. [29:48] He held on to the fucking Jeep, [29:50] driving down the road, just getting drunk like, let go! [29:54] Go, fucker.

[29:55] He fell right out the back of that bitch had the back of the jeep, [29:58] but he jumped to the back, was beating his ass. [30:00] We got up in the motherfucking jeep. [30:02] He jumped to the back and the. [30:04] We got someone, you know? Yeah. [30:06] Handsome. Humble is just his birthday. [30:08] Yeah, it's his birthday. Birthday? [30:10] Let's drag this motherfucker. [30:11] Fuck him to a Jeep and we're beating him. [30:13] And he was playing football. [30:15] We caught him playing football. [30:16] We knew where he was at because he was on the field with a player. [30:19] On playing life like it's fucking dazed and confused [30:23] now. They [30:24] just run up to the field, you know, just like police right there. [30:28] You find them, right? [30:29] And you just get out and beat the shit out of the motherfucker, right? [30:31] And then it's. What's up? Yeah. [30:34] And this next person's turn, you know what I mean? [30:36] He just happened to get in the Jeep, fall out. [30:38] Now he's getting drunk on the street. You know what I mean? [30:41] Because, see, the motherfucker jumped in the Jeep, right? [30:43] He jumped in the Jeep.

Now I'm driving because he jumped in the Jeep. [30:46] Now, he had broke Mikey's ribs fucking, like, last year. [30:50] So Mikey was pissed off, right? What? I didn't know. [30:53] So it's okay to jump your family member for their birthday? [30:59] Yeah. [30:59] And if anyone gets hurt, you then hold that [31:03] as a grudge for the next birthday to be able to beat it. [31:07] No, but Mikey had this. [31:08] Mikey was pissed because Mikey [31:10] said he was going to get his ass anyway, because Mikey knew what he was going. [31:12] To do. [31:12] So that's exactly what I just said. [31:14] Maybe some of them. [31:16] Maybe so. Doesn't hold that. [31:19] That's why he thinks that the children are all going to beat his ass one day. [31:22] All right, guys, somebody's going to do it. I know it's coming down. [31:24] I just know what's happening. That's inevitable. [31:28] It's like. [31:29] Saying it's like when Rocky fought Mr. [31:31] T and got his ass beat. [31:33] Like, I know it's. Going to happen. [31:34] I know it's going. To happen. I'm gonna have to get back up, though. [31:37] Yeah. [31:37] You know, it's all about getting back up. [31:40] So we're out at the field.

[31:41] We see them, we get out, we parked them off the bench. Boom. [31:44] We park it right there getting his ass. [31:47] We beat his ass, right. [31:48] Rufio is kicking us, motherfucker in the head. [31:52] This motherfucker guy still toe boots on, kicking this motherfucker in the head. [31:55] We didn't know that. [31:57] This motherfucker warriors boots that day would still toe. [32:00] And he's kicking. [32:01] Off his kick. [32:02] The boy in the head. [32:02] They're so fucking. [32:05] We all run back to the jeep, man. We're in. The Jeep. [32:08] And now he's got a concussion. [32:09] Now this motherfucker, he gets up and he is piss pissed, right? [32:12] So he runs. He jumps to the back of the jeep. [32:14] I'm like, fuck. [32:15] So he might not have had a concussion until you drive off in the Jeep [32:18] and he falls off. Well, this is it. [32:20] We ride. And I had a windbreaker back here. [32:23] This motherfucker laid it on top of the windbreaker, [32:25] so he's holding on, and somehow he lost his grip. [32:28] Slid out the back of that bitch on the windbreaker.

[32:31] Bow hits that bitch, and it's getting drunk [32:33] now by the goddamn cheap because we're bringing the car [32:35] on to the shit on the back of the Jeep. [32:37] It's caught him and the jeep. Yeah, yeah. [32:41] He finally let's go or something. [32:43] Let go. [32:43] And he ends up rolling off into the ditch somewhere and we're like, fuck, man, [32:47] we got to go back, check on him right quick. [32:49] We checked out. He was just mad. [32:50] He didn't want to fuck with us that day. [32:51] But the next day we was cool again. [32:54] You know what I mean? [32:55] Just par for the course type shit. [32:57] Y'all don't give a fuck back. [32:58] Then we did. [33:00] Because, remember, we were going to leave. Jimmy. [33:02] Jimmy! Jimmy! Don't fail. Wait. I was there. [33:04] Yeah? Yeah. [33:06] So you were going to leave me in the ditch too? [33:08] We ain't. Look what else to fucking do. [33:10] Right around the. Corner from the house. [33:11] Yeah, he's only about 12 houses up. [33:13] He can. Front of his house? Yeah. From his. [33:15] So he fell in a ditch and couldn't get out. [33:17] And you guys couldn't figure out how he just got out. [33:19] He got too high.

[33:20] Yeah. [33:21] So to do, he was smoking. [33:22] We had a double barrel bong, right. [33:24] And fucking he had this banging ass. [33:26] We we was all getting fucked up, boy. [33:28] His homie was there and his homie have you as an EMT, right? [33:32] This motherfucker lives right next door, right? [33:36] And he's talking shit to my man's little man. [33:39] Just like, man, you ain't going to be able to handle this week. [33:41] So he's packing a I'm watching him pack this fucking bong with this fire ass. [33:46] And I'm like, God damn, man, he gonna fuck that dude up. [33:50] Well, Smokey was like, man, let me hit that. [33:52] Because the dude was like, man, I ain't going to fuck with it. [33:55] Like, I got it. [33:56] Smokey's hitting this shit, right? [33:58] And he's like, fuck, man. [34:01] He's like, [34:01] I don't know what's going on, but damn, I should have cleared this by now. [34:04] So he's just study hitting this shit. [34:06] I mean, hitting this shit. [34:08] Smokey is extremely gassed up now. [34:11] Have you? [34:12] It was me. [34:14] Smoking was in the middle. [34:16] Chippy was over here. [34:17] Jews over here. [34:18] You got my man Paul and Andy.

[34:21] They're on the other side of us right now. Paul. [34:23] Got a cigarette? [34:25] Next thing I know, Jimmy just goes and falls [34:28] across me, so I thought he went to punch me and like, miss. [34:31] So I'm like, oh, we got your ass, motherfucker. [34:34] So he on the ground, me and chippy, [34:36] we just started stomping this motherfucker. Yeah. [34:38] So wait a minute. [34:39] He fell down? [34:40] Yeah. We thought he might have had an aneurysm. [34:43] He just passed out. [34:43] He just fell down and he said [34:47] it's a song for him. [34:48] They got defend themselves. [34:49] They're like, oh, he must have swung and missed. [34:51] Dude, you're standing still. [34:54] Who's the bitch down? You stop him. [34:56] You see? [34:56] No fist like, swing by closely, bro. [35:00] You know what I mean? [35:00] Like, you presume that Jimmy swung on you or attempted to step on his gaze. [35:05] What happened? Other. [35:08] So he goes. [35:08] So y'all start kicking him while he's in the ditch. [35:10] We start with him, we beat him. We're like, oh yeah, we got you. [35:13] So we think he's going to get up and start swinging, right? [35:15] So we run off real quick.

[35:17] He's on their money. [35:19] Oh no no no no no. [35:20] Paul is standing on the top over the cigarette. [35:22] He goes. [35:25] Don't tell me. [35:26] Hey y'all. [35:30] He's not moving. [35:31] We're like, fuck what? [35:33] He ain't moving. So we run back real quick. [35:36] Now what are your whole friend group is retarded. [35:38] Y'all got brain damage based on brain damage to each other. [35:42] We turn this motherfucker over, right? [35:44] We turn him over his mouth. [35:46] She's all blue and purple, like, fuck you. [35:49] Fuck. What are we going to do? [35:51] I said, yo, Andy, you're the EMT. [35:53] Go do something. He goes. I'm off the clock. [35:57] This goes, I ain't got my bag. [35:58] I'm like, bitch, your house is right there. [36:01] You're trying to do some shit, do some shit. [36:04] You know I'm saying. [36:06] That saying we know fucking Smokey pops right back up like. [36:10] Oh yeah, you see Breaking Bad, [36:13] like when he beats the shit out of the dude at the fucking junkyard. [36:16] He's like, don't forget who you're working for. [36:17] And he's like, why would you say that to them, man?

[36:21] He beats the brakes off and he's like, [36:25] like shimmering and shit [36:27] like on the floor, like like falling apart, having a seizure. [36:30] And I figure out somehow you can't take the ass, woman. [36:33] Bitch. [36:33] We're trying to figure out what to do with Jimmy [36:35] because Paul's like, yo, man, he can't be in front of my house, dog. [36:39] And I'm like, [36:41] all right, [36:41] what we're going to do, we're going to wipe him down [36:42] and we're gonna put him in [36:43] a ditch over here, and then we know we'll get up as dad or something. [36:48] You know what I mean? [36:48] Because his dad at the time was a sheriff, you know what I'm saying? [36:51] And everybody's like, all right, we can hit his dad up. No problem. [36:54] What the fuck are we going to tell his goddamn wife? [36:56] Because bubble head, she'd be a whole nother fucking mess. [36:58] The story right there, right? [37:00] So when we went down to pick him up, he pops up and, like, he's talking to us. [37:05] Like he was still in the same conversation that we left off on. [37:08] But he has a rock down in his eye that he plucks out. [37:11] You know what I mean?

[37:12] Who did this Smokey, Smokey pull the rock out of his eye [37:16] because he felt the hat on the ground and y'all beat the shit out of him [37:19] because he because he just passed out or some shit. [37:22] Yeah, like he literally passed down. [37:24] The fuck out. Yes. [37:26] Dangerous people to be friends with, yo. [37:30] Like we were always doing something stupid. [37:32] They were physical. Yes they were. [37:35] And see this. [37:37] He wasn't able to come out sometimes like the time [37:39] he did come out when we had him drive. [37:41] Remember when we drove the trucks and I hit my head with the pole? [37:44] Yeah. And then you took off. [37:48] Where was I doing some bullshit, right? [37:50] I was like, yo, it's my turn. [37:53] You had to drive my car. [37:56] KP was with us, man. [37:57] Me and Smokey, we're out there and fucking shit up. [37:59] I got the pole in my hand. [38:01] I see this motherfucker drums. I got my nail. [38:03] This bitch, bro, fuck this bitch. [38:04] Up I go hit this bitch, bitch. [38:07] Motherfuckers metal. [38:09] Yo, I hate this motherfucker with the pole. [38:11] Came back, hit me bam. [38:13] All I see is bright shit.

[38:15] Bubbles. Just doing this number. [38:17] Yeah, I hear this motherfucker go car. [38:20] Scott. [38:22] He takes off in my shit. [38:26] I run. It after the car cause Smokey's like, get the pole. [38:30] Smokey jumps in the car, I get the pole, I'm running after the car. [38:33] That's my fucking. [38:34] He ain't slowing down. He's going faster. [38:37] He said why can't might catch up, bro. [38:39] I'm fucking hard ass. [38:41] Still concussed y'all. I'm still blinking like a motherfucker. [38:44] I'm running the motherfucker. Go. [38:46] I get ready to jump. [38:47] Now I'm getting ready to jump in the back seat of my own shit. [38:49] This motherfuckers. [38:52] It's the brake, bro. [38:53] I smack nor bow. [38:55] Fuck it. [38:58] I'm on the ground in the middle of the road. [38:59] I'm like, fuck, this bitch is going, yeah, get your ass out. [39:04] The car is coming out. I. [39:13] Oh, man. [39:16] We have some fun. [39:18] Yeah. That's surprise. [39:19] We ain't getting trouble. [39:21] No shit. [39:21] We have some shit. We did the dump. [39:24] We did man. [39:25] Oh, God. [39:32] As a kid, breaking into fucking chestnut for going. [39:36] Oh, my God, you know.

[39:37] What kind of. Damn it. [39:39] Yeah. Night and shit. You know what I mean? [39:42] Jump in the fence. [39:44] You're, like, bringing logs. [39:46] A little. Different those times back in the day, man. [39:48] I mean, Mike's committing, like, [39:49] vicious assaults on people all throughout his youth. [39:52] Well, there in a day. [39:54] Yeah, yeah. Yeah. [39:57] Right. [39:57] For dinner? Yep. [39:59] Yeah, yeah, yeah. [40:01] I'll see you at the fucking, you know, dinner table because. [40:04] After school. [40:05] We then we go to sheets and get the hot [40:07] dogs and shit and the Jigglypuff and be bullshitting and [40:10] chilling, talking shit, laughing about what the fuck we'd have done. [40:14] I said wounds and shit. [40:16] Recovering, man. [40:18] I'm there with, like, an ice pack on the side of the head. [40:20] Yeah. Boy, you really busted my head up, man. [40:22] Yeah. [40:24] I'm gonna get you on your birthday. [40:26] Yeah. [40:26] Should I have a cousin, man? This motherfucking big something. [40:29] The only person in my whole entire life that ever scooped me up and slammed me [40:33] was my motherfucking cousin.

[40:35] Yo, this motherfucking man, [40:36] he come over the house, we was talking shit or whatever. [40:39] He like Andre the Giant. Did you? Yeah, he. [40:42] He scooped me right before. [40:43] The only person has ever gotten me off my feet and really scooped me. [40:46] Was this motherfucker here, man. [40:47] My cousin blockhead back this motherfucker I forgot. [40:50] What the fuck? He was talking shit. [40:52] He was like, cause I'm bigger than you now. [40:53] Cause I don't matter me. [40:54] I would still fuck you up, right? [40:57] We started slap boxing. [40:58] Body slammed. You and we slept boxing. [41:00] We go in and I'm lighting his head up. [41:02] The motherfucker just aren't even knew how fast the motherfucker was able to move [41:06] like this. [41:06] Because this size, it didn't make no sense. [41:09] And he scooped me and boom! [41:11] Drop me, all right. On my motherfucker. [41:13] I was like, fuck! [41:14] Then he gets on top and I'm like, oh, this big Suffolk bitch. [41:17] I said, I got something for your ass, though. [41:19] I screw it up. Got on the back of his head. [41:21] I'm choking this motherfucker. I'm hitting him. [41:23] The top is fucking it.

[41:25] That was good times. I got pictures of that shit to [41:29] day. Back [41:31] guitars, man. [41:32] Good times. [41:39] You haven't raised your children to be this. [41:41] I guess maybe you've learned something. [41:44] Well, it's just different times. [41:45] Kids don't do this. [41:46] Times kids don't even slap box no more. [41:49] They don't do none of that shit, man. [41:50] Yeah, but we're raising a bunch of. [41:52] Right? [41:52] Nobody's slap boxing and beating their cousins on their. [41:56] Slap box for the fuck of it. [41:58] My cousins had set me up one time. [42:00] They had an uncle I never forget. [42:02] This motherfucker scared the shit out of me. [42:03] We was little. [42:04] He come walking to the house and said, [42:06] yo, man, your uncle looks like a bushwhacker. [42:07] They're like, they started laughing like a telemark. [42:09] I'm like, okay, cool. I'll tell him. [42:11] You mean like [42:11] the guys from the wrestling with the hats with bites taken out of the brim? [42:15] I did. He looked just like one of them. [42:17] He was coming in the house with a fucking great wife [42:19] beater on, had the scruff and I'm like, damn ball.

[42:22] Like kind of not bald head, but like balding. [42:25] I was like, I'm gonna look like a bushwhacker. [42:26] Like, yo, go, hey, tell him because I'm like, all right, cool. [42:29] I'll tell him. Camouflage pants while. [42:31] I sit your night. He had the camouflage pants on. [42:33] Everything with the fucking bites. Take it out. [42:35] I thought he was missing. That's the shit, right? [42:38] He come in the house. They come in licking people. [42:41] And they yell, God, that was nasty shit I forgot about. [42:44] That's what they did. [42:46] You by your face and you. [42:52] Look at kids. [42:53] Now think about that. [42:54] That's actually disgusting. [42:56] They just grabbed random people and lick their faces. [43:01] Bad breath on your fucking face. [43:03] All day knowing that. Yeah. Oh. [43:05] You smell like a. [43:06] Breath away because of the motherfucker bought it. [43:10] You know, they on it. [43:11] That's eight ball jack all day. Oh. [43:14] Oh yeah. Fuck that. [43:15] Jack Daniels raw. [43:17] But they uncle. Come in cocaine. [43:19] And I told him I said man. Hey, you know, you look like a bushwhacker. [43:21] And that motherfucker got pissed.

[43:23] Yo. Come here. So I can lick your face and. [43:26] Pick my ass up in the air [43:28] like this and have me up on the wall and was just going off. [43:32] Don't you ever do that. I was like, what the fuck? [43:35] I say, you, my cousins are losing. [43:37] Just like the big blackish and then picked you up off your feet. [43:40] Yeah, my cousins are losing. [43:42] My cousins are laughing. [43:44] So because he's fucking with me. [43:46] But I didn't know that I thought he was dead serious y'all. [43:48] I'm like, what the fuck? [43:50] I'm scared out of my mind because this motherfucker [43:52] picked my big ass up like it wasn't shit and had me up on the wall. [43:56] I think I was like 11 or 12 years old, dad. [43:58] I said, man did some bullshit. [44:01] So fucking he let me down because I'm crying [44:04] and he's like, I'm with you boiling. [44:06] What the fuck? My heart beating the shit. [44:07] I look at my cousin like, y'all motherfuckers. Sorry. [44:10] I'm gonna get yours later on tonight, you know? [44:12] And that's how it is that all this started. [44:14] Was that the catalyst? No. The catalyst. [44:16] Start beating each other's asses.

[44:18] Oh, we've been doing that. [44:19] We were fucking on the wound type shit, man. [44:21] I remember y'all came out fighting. [44:22] Yeah, yeah, yeah, me and my cousins, we used to fight all the time. [44:26] I mean, all the time. [44:28] My cousin. [44:28] But one cousin almost killed me a couple times. [44:31] Smother me. [44:32] Almost drowned. [44:34] Yes. He tried to drown you. [44:35] Yeah, he tried to. Drown it up. [44:36] And so y'all consider this shit fun? [44:39] Like there seems to be something the matter with your, like, sense [44:41] of, like, interaction, if you will. [44:45] I don't. [44:45] Know, that's just how. [44:46] We were, like we used to try to kill each other. Really? [44:48] Yeah. Yeah, I pushed him off a cliff. [44:50] He tried to drown me. [44:53] Shot him with a bow and arrow. [44:54] He stabbed me with a knife. [44:56] Well, my sister shot me in the eye with a penny for the slingshot. [45:00] Penny [45:02] with. A screenshot. [45:03] She said he wasn't a dime boy and she could have been blind. [45:07] I did, my motherfucker. [45:08] I had my own shit up. [45:11] Damn, that's a hell of a shot. [45:12] I tell you, your sister did this.

[45:14] Yeah. [45:16] My mom? Yeah. [45:17] My sister was evil, man. [45:19] She hurt me with a sparkler one time. [45:21] Right on my face. [45:22] We was outside 4th of July. [45:25] Did y'all beat her ass for her birthday? [45:27] No, no, but we fought me and her. [45:29] We were getting fistfights. [45:30] We would actually get the fighting, but it got to a point where [45:34] I knew if I made her cry, if we ever fought, I made her cry. [45:38] Then I just put my hands up and be like, look, [45:40] just don't hit me in the balls of the face. [45:41] And then just let it out. [45:43] Let out whatever. How bad I pissed you off. [45:45] Just go ahead of me. [45:46] You know what I mean? [45:47] Like, because I knew it was wrong for me to hit her, you know what I'm saying? [45:50] But sometimes she would do shit [45:52] where I ended up having to fuck her up. [45:54] You had to hit a lot of people to learn [45:55] that it was wrong to hit her at some point. [45:57] No, no, no, no. With her it was different because that was my sister. [46:00] You don't hit girls, you know what I mean? That was. [46:01] I know you. Know, it's your cousins, either. [46:04] My cousin.

[46:05] That's supposed to. Anyway. Maybe on occasion. [46:07] The boy is supposed to be some regular birthday thing. [46:10] Like a birthday. [46:12] We got cupcakes or a cake we're going to like. [46:14] That's the present. [46:14] Here's some presents. Right? [46:17] Maybe said no, we're going to go find you [46:19] on your birthday and beat the shit out of you. [46:21] And like, or it wasn't even Jimmy's birthday when he fell in the ditch. [46:25] You know, I fucked him up. [46:26] Y'all just fucked him up because he fell. Yeah, [46:29] that's all. [46:30] It was. [46:30] Trapped. [46:31] So he stopped yard to hit somebody ground back then. [46:34] I guess it stopped yard when they hit the ground, you know what I mean? [46:37] Like, don't get pizza, all right? [46:38] Or not, me don't matter. It's on the ground. [46:41] Yeah. Stop him out. [46:42] Don't worry about the health [46:45] of the friend of yours that just landed on the ground. [46:49] Fuck that. Hit him! [46:51] Kick him! [46:52] Bro, we used to do this in the warehouse, I worked it, it got worse in the wet [46:55] when the. When I found out the warehouse dudes do this shit.

[46:58] Oh my God, bro, we was in the warehouse causing hell we would beat niggas [47:03] ass, wrapped him up in plastic, stick them on a pallet and drive them up [47:06] to the manager's office and set them out from the manager's office. [47:10] Yo, the managers, [47:11] when it was their birthdays, they wouldn't even come back to our area [47:14] because they knew they'd get their asses handed to them. [47:17] We didn't give a fuck. [47:18] You know, you live in an alternate reality, bro, [47:22] but that is like alternate reality ville. [47:25] Like that's big Mike ville. [47:27] You're the mayor of it. [47:28] Like you're like, yeah, man, we just hit each other for no reason. [47:31] It would be like, I never forget my man Butterbean. [47:34] He works for the town. [47:35] Back in the day, when I met this cat, man fucking. [47:38] We used to go around slightly each other in the back of the heads. [47:40] We'd be in school. POW, pow! Motherfuck! [47:42] Got me today. [47:43] I'll get your ass later, motherfucker. [47:45] You see him walking powder? [47:46] There's something wrong with y'all. [47:48] That's what we did, man. [47:50] I just got.

[47:51] To be putting hands on somebody. [47:54] Your hands to yourself, God damn it. [47:56] That's mad. [47:56] Well, like I said, kids don't do shit like that no more. [47:59] Nah, I think they might be too far in the opposite direction by now, but. [48:03] Yeah. Yeah. [48:04] Because that was the soft parenting. [48:06] Change that shit up. Yeah. [48:08] You can't you don't fight with your siblings [48:10] like you usually do, like my grandma, son or daughter. [48:13] They do this [48:13] like it's like you remember Punch Buggy, but they do this shit called yellow car. [48:18] Any yellow car, they just punch each other. And I'm like, all right. [48:21] When it gets to a point where I'm like, all right, y'all doing too much. [48:23] It's calming down a little bit, you know what I'm saying? [48:25] But yeah, but that's nothing like [48:29] I broke my cousin's wrist because I pushed him down [48:31] a flight of stairs because it was his birthday. No. [48:33] Yeah, yeah. [48:34] I mean, like that. Like. [48:35] But that sounds like something y'all would do. [48:37] You haven't brought up a story of pushing your cousin down the stairs, [48:40] taking a risk and shit like that.

[48:42] Sounds like. [48:45] Yeah, that's again, that's extreme pushing somebody that. [48:47] Is that extreme. We caught him. Ready? [48:50] Jimmy fell down in front of us and we started punching and stopping him. [48:55] Then he was out cold. [48:56] Then he had a rock in his eyes [48:59] and he pulled out of his [49:02] man. Man. [49:03] He obviously he found. [49:05] The rock decide when he fell. [49:07] But here's the thing. If [49:11] if y'all go, I see I can almost running. [49:14] Out of stairs, bro. [49:16] But god dang [49:18] all the shit you said. [49:19] It's not attention, but he's on the ground and we can't get punched him. [49:22] You really want to kill us. [49:24] About trying to kill him? [49:26] You push him out. [49:26] Of the stairs like you really want to kill him. [49:29] It was only a couple stairs. [49:30] You always want. To hit him. Yeah, yeah. [49:35] Right. [49:36] It was like one of those level house stairs. [49:38] But it was the top stairs. The 40. [49:40] Like the 5 or 6 stairs going up and splitting the floor. [49:45] Either way. [49:46] Yeah. [49:46] No, he broke his wrist because he landed like a bitch. [49:49] Like y'all just awesome.

[49:52] Shit, man. [49:53] Does not sound at all like the I don't. [49:55] Know, we we had real good time. [49:57] Strange family dynamics. [49:59] But nobody but you. [49:59] All the kind of family that nobody fucks with because it's a beat each other's ass. [50:02] So if you fuck with one of them, you got all [50:06] pulling out knives. [50:07] And that's just how it was. [50:08] Like my cousin, me and my cousin, the one that scooped me up. [50:10] He hit that. [50:12] I need your help. [50:12] Hey, I'm on the way, you know, I mean, I hit him. [50:14] Because I need to create the plastic handled steak knife. [50:18] He said the plastic handles. [50:21] I'm bringing that serrated dog. [50:24] Yeah, I got you. [50:25] Because I guess that was kind of thing, because, man, like. [50:29] Yo, the word y'all. [50:31] Crazy motherfucker was like, man, these motherfuckers be wild. [50:34] But we had fun, though. We we started from. [50:37] We just don't do that no more. [50:38] Yeah, that's the family you don't fuck with [50:39] the ones that are, like, beating the shit out of each other all the time. [50:43] You know what I mean? Just for the hell of it. [50:44] Just for the hell of it.

[50:45] Just because they fucking or 20 today. [50:47] Yeah. It's funny to. [50:48] Them, like my. Brother, [50:51] people like, my jaw hurt for weeks after you accidentally punched me. [50:54] Y'all beat the shit out of each other on purpose and be like, yeah, man. [50:57] I had my ribs broken by my cousin from a birthday blackout. [51:00] I never forget them in the house. He goes, hey bro. [51:03] He goes, I know you're strong, but I gotta move them and put you in that. [51:06] You ain't gonna be able to get out, man. You ain't stronger than. Me, bro. [51:09] They fuck with that. Got a job. [51:11] Will tear your arm out of the socket because you gave me the opportunity to [51:15] spare for I watch that. [51:17] Put me in this lock where I was basically choking my own self out [51:20] and I'm like, fuck. [51:22] I'm looking at as one of the night where I've seen the moon again, [51:24] I've seen the moon and all that shit starts going black like this. [51:27] You know what I mean? [51:28] Yeah. And I'm like, oh shit, I'm blacking out. [51:30] Hey, bro, tapping y'all. [51:32] This one forgot me on the ground. Now he on the ground. [51:34] Where the. [51:34] Your tapping your arm.

[51:36] Yeah. You're like oh, oh. [51:39] I'm still tapping right. [51:41] I'm in the middle of the street in front of the house where I lived. [51:43] I'm in the middle of the road. [51:44] We outside. [51:45] He's like, no he's got it. [51:47] Yeah. [51:49] That's that's is able to say it. [51:51] Yeah. Got you see you can't get out. Can't you bro. [51:53] You can't get out. [51:54] We laying on the ground, bitch. No I can't [51:59] fucking. [52:00] Temperature bitch. [52:01] Let me. [52:03] I'm black in. [52:03] The fuck down right now. [52:07] How's that? [52:08] Damn it, you son of a bitch! [52:09] This is not healthy. [52:11] And this is not a healthy family dynamic. [52:13] I mean, if he was having more 30s, you know, then that's an issue. [52:17] Maybe, but. [52:18] But other than that, because I don't know. [52:20] All that's brain damage, all that shit. [52:22] Y'all just giving each other brain damage, like. [52:25] That's ridiculous. [52:28] I'm saying, like, I get it. [52:29] If you want a slap boxing or whatever, like, punch each other, whatever.

[52:32] Like, okay, but like, y'all are kicking each other on the ground and shit like, [52:37] this sounds like being jumped into a gang every birthday. [52:40] Yeah, yeah, you can basically say that. [52:41] Yes, exactly. [52:43] My family. So I get. To hit you. [52:45] But it was always love. [52:47] Nothing was ever done out of malice. [52:49] Wasn't done out of just hatred. [52:50] I don't know, it sounded like your cousin homeboy went kicked, dude with the steel [52:54] toe boots on some. [52:55] That was getting back. Yeah, definitely. [52:57] That's what I'm saying. [52:58] Man, I push you down the stairs, break your wrist, [53:01] kick me in the head, dog. [53:03] Guess what? I'll put you down the motherfucker. [53:05] In your own motherfucking. House. [53:07] And stomping on your fucking hard to your wrist breaks. [53:12] He was. [53:13] Because when he broke his ribs from, like, damn. [53:15] Yeah you did. [53:16] Your ribs are broke. Us. [53:17] Shit. Damn. Fucked up. [53:20] I'm gonna get that. [53:29] That's what it sounded like. [53:31] Down, man. [53:32] Look at that look. [53:37] Yes, that's it, mate. [53:38] That's it. [53:39] That's not a healthy family dynamic.

[53:42] Like two coaches beat a man to death. [53:45] He said, get up, bitch. [53:48] Wild boy, young adult. [53:55] Good times, good times. [53:58] I always had a blast, though. [54:00] Always had a blast. [54:02] Yeah. Look at you, bro. [54:03] You over there like reminiscing, man. Oh my God. [54:05] Yeah. [54:06] When he reminisce over you family angel [54:09] fucking ass. [54:12] Yeah. [54:12] Get down, big Mike family. [54:15] Beat the shit out of each other. [54:16] You one minute because they beat your ass. [54:18] To be my. [54:19] We share stories back and forth about motherfucker. [54:22] Remember this time? Yeah. You bitch. I do remember that shit. [54:24] Yeah, man. I'm telling you, motherfucker. [54:26] Coming me with the steel toes. Because there's some bullshit. [54:29] Because of his family tradition. Shit. Yeah. [54:32] You can't. [54:33] Steps that. I'm a man on your arm. [54:35] As soon as you land, you're going to be like, what? [54:37] The snap. Oh, [54:40] that. [54:40] And broke your arm to bitch pushing down the steps and broke the fucking arm. [54:44] Look at him graduate to claw like [54:46] I'll come at you with that claw, boy.

[54:51] That will pull you up. [54:52] Snap your motherfucking head off the ground. [54:54] But I get out his carpeted motherfucker. [54:57] Black out. [54:58] Yeah. [54:59] See, that's that's the extreme part, that. [55:01] That's what. [55:02] You can't play like that in my family, dog. [55:04] Motherfucking. [55:05] The goal scorched earth and. [55:09] You know. [55:10] He said his family scorched earth. [55:12] Yeah, I can't handle that. That's not acceptable. [55:14] It's a Tuesday. [55:15] Yeah, yeah, [55:18] I'm burning up. [55:18] Cousin's house down. [55:19] Sure. Shit. [55:21] Please, gentlemen, with that said no. [55:23] Yeah, we're gonna have to bring this episode of stupidity to a close. [55:27] I'd like to thank you for listening. [55:28] Yeah. Sure enough. [55:29] Do you like to encourage you to listen to old episodes when there's new episodes? [55:32] Lisa, don't do that. [55:34] Like you subscribe, [55:37] stupid. [55:40] Keep grinding on the shit you trying to get done. [55:42] Because that is how things are going to get done. [55:43] We believe in. [55:44] You trying to be nice to people [55:45] that look like you, and nice people that don't look like you.

Don't be a dick. [55:48] Well, gentlemen, keep moving forward, right? [55:51] Don't forget, we love you very, very much. Love, y'all. [55:54] We wish you nothing but the best. [55:55] All day, every day. And peace be with you. Go! [55:58] Where the fuck is my goddamn. [55:59] Phone at this bitch? [56:04] This is a more like narcotics. [56:06] So it goes.